I am a huge Savege Love fan. If you don't know who Dan Savage is, or have never read his column, go check it out here: http://www.avclub.com/content/node/78619.
He's a sex advice columnist and is hilarious and usually spot-on, in my limited and unprofessional opinion. He posts new columns every Wednesday and this was a particularly funny one this morning (the person writing in is in italics, Dan's response is below it):I'm a 52-year-old male, divorced for the past eight years. I recently broke off a five-year relationship with a woman two years my senior. About six weeks ago, a new female worker started in our office. We're really hitting it off, and frankly, I've fallen for her—hard! However, she is 36, never married, and I have not asked her out yet, but I definitely want to. In fact, I want to marry her.
There are some of my coworkers who think I'm "robbing the cradle" in this situation. Given that we have two possible barriers to overcome, age and work situation, what do you advise? Go ahead slowly or full steam ahead?
Geezer In Love
I would advise you to stop wasting my time, GIL.
You've known this woman for six weeks—six weeks—and you haven't so much as been out on a date with her yet. It's not even appropriate to joke about marriage at this stage—marriage, GIL, which is so totally holy and sacred and between one man and one woman and wocka wocka wocka. And it's entirely possible that you've mistaken this woman's efforts to ingratiate herself with her new officemates as "hitting it off." For all you know, this woman, like your coworkers, thinks you're a creepy old lech, GIL.
And speaking of the so totally holy and super-sacred institution of marriage…
When two dudes get married, the marriage-is-between-one-man-and-one-woman brigades crap their collective pants, vomit up ten thousand press releases, and run in circles screaming about all the hurricanes and earthquakes and unattractive haircuts that Our Loving Father™ is gonna rain down on our heads if we don't pry Adam off Steve right fucking now.
Well, the one-man-and-one-woman crowd has been strangely silent about this polygamist sect in Texas that's been all over the news. It appears that the Fundamentalist Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints has been organizing marriages/statutory rapes between one man and dozens or more women and/or girls. "Where's the outrage?" writes a reader, which prompted me to go looking for some outrage at the reliably outraged website of Concerned Women for America (cwfa.org). There are more anti-gay-marriage press releases packed onto CWFA's website than there is fudge packed into all the homos in all the Sodoms in all of North America. But there's not one single word that I could find about these straight men in Texas violating the holy and sacred one-man-and-one-woman rule. What gives?
1 comment:
see, Dan agrees with me, in a less winded round-about way than i said in my last blog. where is reverend Phelps- i guess he turns his cheek on fucking 12 year old girls, but dammit all if Fags are married and have positive loving relationships. i guess there is nothing better that a slightly peach fuzzed chach.
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