Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The "Aboutness" of Poetry: A Billy Collins Manifesto

Many people have wondered about my hatred for Billy Collins. Well, like all well-worn rifts, this one started as a seamless plane: I used to love Billy. Way back, when I was at Drake and just learning about other poets, not how to critique their work, Billy was where it was the fuck at. I loved his playfulness, his clever nature, his tidy endings.

But as I got older I began to question his choices, and slowly, as the tide came in our previously impermeable beach gave way to the beginnings of that rift. Let's have a look at his "Introduction to Poetry":

Introduction to Poetry

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem's room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author's name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.
Fine. It's nice on the surface, right? "press an ear against its hive" is a nice image, a commendable line. There are lots of nice images here, but that's where it stops, see? He has this calculated build-up to the last two stanzas, where, of course, the "they" turn on this poor, defenseless poem and beat it with a hose. There are lost of things wrong with this:

1. Why indict your readers? They have done no harm to you, Billy, they just don't know how to play with poetry. Can they be blamed? Look at the state of the American public educational system for your true villain. Much like a confused child with a complicated toy, they bang it on the ground when they can't figure out how to make it light up and sing. This isn't to say readers are children, but they are "child-like" when trying to read poetry if they have no experience with it.

2. I don't know about Mr. Collins, but I never send my poems out defenseless: it's called tension, Billy, and most of your poems lack it: there's no surprises, no push and pull to hold them together. There's no complications, no questions asked of the reader to get them to think before they act, and that's the writer's fault. No wonder your poems get assaulted, it's a harsh world out there, BC: if your poems can't take it, they only have one person to look for to place blame, and it's surely not the readers.

3. This gripe is more for the critics, the stay-at-home poets who like to tidy up the whole business and make labels and order us into boxes. They are constantly putting James Tate and Billy Collins in the same bracket. This pisses me off, mainly because the janitors of our genre, who claim to be so careful and concerned with the proper placement of us against each other, would then make so sloppy and grievous an error. Let's look at one of Jim's poems:

It Happens Like This
  I was outside St. Cecelia's Rectory
smoking a cigarette when a goat appeared beside me.
It was mostly black and white, with a little reddish
brown here and there. When I started to walk away,
it followed. I was amused and delighted, but wondered
what the laws were on this kind of thing. There's
a leash law for dogs, but what about goats? People
smiled at me and admired the goat. "It's not my goat,"
I explained. "It's the town's goat. I'm just taking
my turn caring for it." "I didn't know we had a goat,"
one of them said. "I wonder when my turn is." "Soon,"
I said. "Be patient. Your time is coming." The goat
stayed by my side. It stopped when I stopped. It looked
up at me and I stared into its eyes. I felt he knew
everything essential about me. We walked on. A police-
man on his beat looked us over. "That's a mighty
fine goat you got there," he said, stopping to admire.
"It's the town's goat," I said. "His family goes back
three-hundred years with us," I said, "from the beginning."
The officer leaned forward to touch him, then stopped
and looked up at me. "Mind if I pat him?" he asked.
"Touching this goat will change your life," I said.
"It's your decision." He thought real hard for a minute,
and then stood up and said, "What's his name?" "He's
called the Prince of Peace," I said. "God! This town
is like a fairy tale. Everywhere you turn there's mystery
and wonder. And I'm just a child playing cops and robbers
forever. Please forgive me if I cry." "We forgive you,
Officer," I said. "And we understand why you, more than
anybody, should never touch the Prince." The goat and
I walked on. It was getting dark and we were beginning
to wonder where we would spend the night.
Jim starts out doing the same thing Billy does, uses the same poetic structure in that they both begin by recounting an event. But Jim's poem has tension: multiple voices where Billy relied on an amorphous "they," Jim has questions where Billy has pat answers. Jim's poems frequently end, like this example also does, with a beginning where Billy's poems end, as his example does, in a way that traps the reader, doesn't allow us any way to move except out of the poem. Essentially, Billy ends where Jim would just be getting started. I recognize this position may just be a side effect from working with Jim, but really I'm not the only one who notices the transparency of Collins' work. Many people find that transparency refreshing, I do not.

Poetry for me has always been about possibility, about questions where other literary forms tried to give me answers. Billy doesn't want me to think, he wants me to listen, and I'm not interested in being told about an introduction to poetry. I'm interested in being asked about the possibilities of the introduction(s) to poetry.

No hard feelings, huh Billy? I just needed more. It's not me, it's you. Maybe poetry just isn't your thing, maybe construction of things that don't move is for you, things more stable than poetry, maybe you could be a load bearing post? As you appear to be enjoying here:



Am I being snarky? Yes, of course, just a little, but give me a break, huh? I work in an art form that has the widespread credibility of pantomiming. But I think all this racket raises an important issue: Billy makes a point about the state of poetry. Of course poems are misunderstood and under-read and well, irrelevant for most of society. But how can people outside penetrate into this world when we continually berate them for not "getting it" and then, out of frustration, they become (understandably if not beneficially) belligerent. I'm a fucking poet, for God's sake, with a degree that claims I am a "Master" of it, and I don't get it half the time. The other side of the poetry spectrum from Billy's paint-by-numbers, 1-2-3 poetry we find L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E POETRY. Come the fuck on! I'm trying to be respectful and I love Lyn Hejinian as much as the next red-blooded poetry enthusiast, but how does 86 semi-colons in a row make a poem? It's looks like the fucking page my printer shits out when I get an new ink cartridge. Alright, this post is getting ugly and unwieldy and must end: let's have a truce, shall we?

I will stop bitching about Billy Collins when his poems ask the reader to do more than read them, and we poets will make more of an effort to write "decipherable" poems (but we're a bit sore about the request, see, I can't even write the word without putting it in quotes) when more people than the poets themselves begin reading their work.

Fair?

MMM...Savage Love

I am a huge Savege Love fan. If you don't know who Dan Savage is, or have never read his column, go check it out here: http://www.avclub.com/content/node/78619.

He's a sex advice columnist and is hilarious and usually spot-on, in my limited and unprofessional opinion. He posts new columns every Wednesday and this was a particularly funny one this morning (the person writing in is in italics, Dan's response is below it):

I'm a 52-year-old male, divorced for the past eight years. I recently broke off a five-year relationship with a woman two years my senior. About six weeks ago, a new female worker started in our office. We're really hitting it off, and frankly, I've fallen for her—hard! However, she is 36, never married, and I have not asked her out yet, but I definitely want to. In fact, I want to marry her.

There are some of my coworkers who think I'm "robbing the cradle" in this situation. Given that we have two possible barriers to overcome, age and work situation, what do you advise? Go ahead slowly or full steam ahead?

Geezer In Love

I would advise you to stop wasting my time, GIL.

You've known this woman for six weeks—six weeks—and you haven't so much as been out on a date with her yet. It's not even appropriate to joke about marriage at this stage—marriage, GIL, which is so totally holy and sacred and between one man and one woman and wocka wocka wocka. And it's entirely possible that you've mistaken this woman's efforts to ingratiate herself with her new officemates as "hitting it off." For all you know, this woman, like your coworkers, thinks you're a creepy old lech, GIL.

And speaking of the so totally holy and super-sacred institution of marriage…

When two dudes get married, the marriage-is-between-one-man-and-one-woman brigades crap their collective pants, vomit up ten thousand press releases, and run in circles screaming about all the hurricanes and earthquakes and unattractive haircuts that Our Loving Father™ is gonna rain down on our heads if we don't pry Adam off Steve right fucking now.

Well, the one-man-and-one-woman crowd has been strangely silent about this polygamist sect in Texas that's been all over the news. It appears that the Fundamentalist Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-day Saints has been organizing marriages/statutory rapes between one man and dozens or more women and/or girls. "Where's the outrage?" writes a reader, which prompted me to go looking for some outrage at the reliably outraged website of Concerned Women for America (cwfa.org). There are more anti-gay-marriage press releases packed onto CWFA's website than there is fudge packed into all the homos in all the Sodoms in all of North America. But there's not one single word that I could find about these straight men in Texas violating the holy and sacred one-man-and-one-woman rule. What gives?

Monday, April 28, 2008

Glorified Version of a Pelican?

Tell me a story about you and your favorite nineties alternative* rock song**:


There are too many "favorites" for me to name. I was in high school in the mid-nineties and worked in a music store/managed one for 8 years, five of them falling in the nineties. Both of these experiences make for lots encounters with music. But, I will get the ball rolling so to speak and choose one song, one memory:

Not long after I graduated high school my best friend Reuben and I went to a Pearl Jam concert at Alpine Valley with our other buddy, Jesse. We had lawn "seats" and had a really good time: we heard the songs we wanted to hear, weren't surrounded by assholes, and the weather was nice (nevermind the torrential downpour that occurred on the way home that led to the car dying and us having to hitch a ride home, but that's another story entirely).

The best part of the evening, the most memorable, the thing that sticks out and as time passes turns from momentarily remarkable to permanently nostalgic was during the encore. PJ came out and played the song "Once" which just kicks so much ass all the way through. Well, at, "Once/ Upon a time/ I could love myself" I looked over at Reuben and he was bathed in orange stage lights, screaming along as hard as he could. His eyes were closed, he was sweaty and shirtless and sans irony or silliness or self awareness he was really rocking the fuck out. After that night, "Once" fast became my favorite PJ song, replacing "Corduroy." My favorite PJ has changed over time, one of the hallmarks, I believe, of a really good band: not only do they remain good, but what kind of good they are changes over time, just as their old songs are able to take new shapes for their fans. I wouldn't have one of their songs tattooed on my forearm if they weren't capable of the transcendent (Incidentally, it is neither "Corduroy" nor "Once" but yet another one).

What's really interesting to me about "Once" now, is how much the lyrics reflect so much of the turmoil between Reuben and I at the time:

The lyrics are as follows:

I admit it...what's to say...yeah...
I'll relive it...without pain...mmm...
Backseat lover on the side of the road
I got a bomb in my temple that is gonna explode
I got a sixteen gauge buried under my clothes, I play...
Once upon a time I could CONTROL myself
Ooh, once upon a time I could LOSE myself, yeah...

Oh, try and mimic what's insane...ooh, yeah...
I am in it...where do I stand?
Oh, Indian summer and I hate the heat
I got a backstreet lover on the passenger seat
I got my hand in my pocket, so determined, discreet...I pray...
Once upon a time I could CONTROL myself
Ooh, once upon a time I could LOSE myself, yeah, yeah...

You think I got my eyes closed
But I'm lookin' at you the whole fuckin' time...

Ooh, once upon a time I could control myself, yeah...
Once upon a time I could lose myself, yeah, yeah, yeah...
Once, upon a time I could love myself, yeah...
Once upon a time I could love you, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Once (4x)
Yeah...once, once...yeah, yeah...
Yeah...yeah, yeah...yeah, yeah...oww...

Mistakes were made, the innocent were hurt badly. But thinking back to Reuben that night reminds me of the indelible nature of music, especially for the young: it marks you up, scars you, and reminds you of the things you've done, for better or worse, of the things you've experienced, that make life worth remembering. I've always wanted to write a "memoir" of sorts, one all tangled up with that time in my life, and this memory makes me pine for it, this piece of writing I haven't written yet. I think Chicago, back home, is the place to start writing it.



*You know what I mean--the genre that was commonly known as "alternative" that became popular.

**Extra credit to the person whom can decipher the reference to a song title from said genre in the title to this post.

Weekend Productive, Frustrating

Well, this weekend I sent off submissions to five print lit journals (Missouri Review, Indiana Review, LIT, New Ohio Review, and Mid-American Review). This entails the following:

1. finding addresses to said journals
2. choosing poems
3. writing cover letters
4. filling out envelopes
5. printing out poems and letters
6. stuffing envelopes

This sounds easy. It sounds like it would take a half hour, tops. This is never the case. Why does this take up to four, maybe five hours?

Then, yesterday, I worked on the little book of poems I'm making. Why is Microsoft Word smarter than me? Why is it good for nothing other than printing letter after letter? Why can nothing else be expected of this program, such as consistent alternative margins? Why does it offer multiple columns options, but then won't allow pasting text into said columns? Fuck that fucking piece of shit. I give up. I have been forced to punch my computer in its stupid fucking face more than once while trying to make a wee little book. Fuck it. I surely have asked too much of my computer.

Friday, April 25, 2008

My Students, Do, This

The Onion

Commas, Turning Up, Everywhere

WASHINGTON—In the midst of a crisis that may have reached a breaking, point Tuesday afternoon, linguists, and grammarians, everywhere say they...

Eat It!

Go to this link:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=zIkOLQ8gpHE

It's cute and maybe you can save some of these poor, defenseless "creatures."

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

It's Nice to Be Loved:

This was the first online interaction I had today:

me:
Gina!

Gina: emileeeeee!

me: It's 6.30, go back to bed!

Gina: i have to go to work!
i'm late!
i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

me: eek! go to work!
i love you too!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

An Observation:

Unless you're one half of a couple of dykes who are simultaneously pregnant, or a dude who can squeeze a baby out of his pecker, the phrase, "we're pregnant!" should never escape your lips.

Obama/Clinton Debate

For those of us who missed the debate this week, I found a good recap of it here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/
article/2008/04/17/AR2008041700013.html

Apparently, it was horrendous. Not surprising, as we live in the gossipiest, fluffiest, most flippant of politically determined land masses on the planet earth.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Moving: You Can't Go Home

I've been worrying, or thinking, a lot about moving to Chicago lately. It's coming, whether I'm ready for it or not, in a few months. Initially this seems like an easy reassurance: moving to Chicago means moving home, near family, to the state I was born in, right? Well, the more I think about it, the more it's not so simple. I think about the person I was when I lived there, 7 long year ago, and notice how different I am now. I think about some of the things I said to people I work with, take classes with, when I first moved here and am embarrassed: I sounded like an ignorant Midwesterner, even when I thought I was so fucking smart. But I'm different now. I don't think I'm so fucking smart, but I know I'm wiser. I don't offer blind, unwavering advice. I just don't think some of the stupid shit that was funny then is funny now. In short, I grew the fuck up, and I like the person I am now, in a way I might not have liked myself then.

And, although I love them very much, how much change can high school friendships endure? How much should two people try to be friends when there just might not be anything left of the original bond? When I move home, will I be expected to be the same Emily I was when I left? I hope not, because I don't know her anymore. I am reassured when I remember that my friends and family have changed a lot too, and so if we all go into it not expecting too much of each other, I'm confident we can forge ahead, learning about each other anew. Plus, there is the added concern of realizing I'm moving away from an area highly concentrated with gay women, into one highly concentrated with heterosexuals. As an adult gay, this is something I can deal with, but also something that will take some adjusting to.

These last 7 years have been really great: I moved out, went to school, made tons of great friends, and kept the good friends I had back home. I became a better writer, a deeper thinker, and a better person because of the relationships I have made and the things I have survived. I broke someone's heart and we both survived it. I stuck it out in a program I now don't think was right for me. I lived in a state with no friends and no relatives for 6 months. I beat Cancer. But "going home" sometimes scares the shit out of me. Since my grandmother died, I just don't really feel like "home" as a concept exists anymore, and so for that reason and many others, I am deeply relieved I am moving to Chicago, not Aurora, the place where I was born.

I am looking forward to many things in this move, too, that I should hold fast to when traversing the rocky wares of self-doubt: a new apartment, using hammers, learning a trade, starting a writing workshop of my own, meeting my sister's children, hanging out with friends I didn't get to see too much when they lived in Chicago: Shawn and Jess! Let's read comic books!

And besides, there are many worse things than moving home: brain surgery, starving, infidelity.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Good Evening

Welcome to my new blog. The title of it come from the the poem The Ghost Trio, by Linda Bierds. An excerpt from it is below:

The Winter: 1748

A little satin like wind at the door.
My mother slips past in great side hoops,
arced like the ears of elephants
on her head a goat-white wig,
on her cheek a dollop of mole.

She has entered the evening, and I
her room with its hazel light.
Where her wig had rested is a leather head,
a stand, perfect in its shadow but
carrying in fact, where the face should be,
a swath of door. It cups

in its skull-curved closure
clay hair stays, a pouch of wig talc
that snows at random and lends to the table

a neck-shaped ring.
When I reach inside I am frosted,
my hand like a pond in winter, pale
fingers below of leaves or carp.

I have studied a painting from Holland,
where a village adjourns to a frozen river.
Skaters and sleighs, of course, but
ale tents, the musk of chestnuts,

someone thick on a chair with a lap robe.
I do not know what becomes of them
when the flow revisits. Or why
they have moved from their warm hearthstones
to settle there—except that one step

is a method of gliding,
the self for those moments
weightless and preened as my leather companion.
And I do not know if the fish there
have frozen, or wait in some stasis
like flowers. Perhaps they are stunned
by the strange heaven—dotted with

boot soles and chair legs
and are slumped on the mud-rich bottom—
waiting through time for a kind of shimmer,
an image perhaps, something
known and familiar, something

rushing above in their own likeness,
silver and blade-thin at the rim of the world.

LB

I took the title of my blog from this because I love this poem: "snow" as a verb is terrific and the whole poem has a nice quiet way abut itself that is so appealing.

I will probably post lots of different things on here: my poems, other's poems, bits of neat or sad or strange information I come across, things about comic books. Stop by and check in as your time allows. You are welcome here.

ER