First off, American Empire Project is up and running.
Next, a few more things:
1. The 5th was Jeannine and my's 2 year anniversary. She is incredible. I feel like I am in a reciprocal relationship, one that suits me, with someone who loves me for who I am, not someone who could be smarter or less crass or one of a million other ways I could change. She lets me be, leaves me alone when I need to be alone and doesn't harangue me to death, wondering why I am in a mood. She just lets me be. I still want her like I wanted her 2 years ago, and in new ways too. Grown-up ways, not just lusty teenager ways.
2. Today is the one year anniversary of my surgery. It's weird to me that I remember that it hurt, but not how it hurt. This pain amnesia must be why the human race continues to have multi-child households. I could go on at length about my fear of the cancer coming back, or my anger of having to look at this scar and be reminded of my mortality everyday at age 30. Instead I'm just going to say that cancer gave me my life, I am healthier now than I have probably ever been, more active, eat better, don't drink, don't smoke, don't eat meat, and am near giving up sugar. My friend told me I was meant to have cancer and survive it. I believe him because I have to, because if I give it meaning I can make something out of it, something good.
3. I love my cats. They are patient with us humans.
4. I've started doing yoga more consistantly than I ever have in the past. It feels good.
5. I love my job. I have the opportunity to be honest with strangers, to have short bursts of meaningfulness that can ripple beyond our conversations.
6. I hope very much that you all are happy and have some things in your lives to be thanful for.
7. A poem:
It Is Enough to Be a Body for Someone Else to Rest Against
Gravity holds us in strong airy palms. We fight
Back against the specter of what it represents.
In the struggle we lose parts of ourselves, the universe
A collection of spinning things that become
Unfamiliar because unattached they no longer keep us
Alive. The truth is they were always foreign,
Our organs and memories are particles of stars
We borrow to see. When those pieces are taken
From us we don’t lack functioning, we just
Reorganize. At night the lake looks like black cement.
And it is when you are falling to it. Short bouts of
Compassion towards children compel us to lie, it is
A sunny day, the water is warm, we are in love.
ER
